Dear Annie: My daughterâs boyfriend refuses to drive

Dear Annie: My daughter, “Emily,” has been dating “Ben” for almost two years. Ben is a great guy, aside from one issue that’s been bugging me: He refuses to drive anywhere and instead has my daughter drive him. He says it’s because a few years ago he was in a car accident and has been scared to drive since. (He was not hurt in the accident.) He has Emily drive him to and from work every day. Emily never complains about it, but it drives me insane because Emily and her kids were also in a car accident a few years back and suffer PTSD from that accident. Ben is aware of this, but doesn’t seem to get it. He thinks it’s no big deal for Emily to get over her fear while avoiding getting over his fear. I want to say something to him so badly, but I haven’t. And every time I say something to my daughter, she gets upset with me. How can I approach the situation without making it worse? — Miffed Mom

Dear Miffed: Your intentions are good, and your irritation is understandable. But Emily is the one behind the wheel, figuratively and literally. When she’s tired of driving him, she can stop. Meanwhile, you can earn interest by keeping your two cents in the bank: If you avoid offering advice when your daughter hasn’t asked, she’ll be more likely to ask you for advice.

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“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].